Recently I have been feeling a lot into ‘why’ I do this work; working with people on creating a deeper connection, a deeper pathway into themselves and others.
I sometimes feel overwhelmed by all the shit that is happening in this world, like the other day, when I saw a movie recounting some horrible deeds, and afterwards I found myself staring into nothingness, feeling helpless and frustrated.
In those moments this phrase has been coming up for me strongly. It has been looping in my head like a mantra:
I often say that one of the biggest things I learned from Circling and personal development is getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. My life is not necessary easier than others’, but over the years I have build my capacity to take in, and hold, more. And that, more than anything, has given me a stronger stance in life, where I get less easily overwhelmed and less strongly triggered than I used to.
What would it be like if you fully owned what you got? Fully put it out there, embrace it, love it, show it, live it.
In my experience it is much easier for clients to tell me their flaws, what they are ‘working on’, their triggers or processes. And when I ask them what they are great at, often there is a silence, or a partially held back “maybe this..”
When I talk about leadership, people often think I only mean leadership at work. That is not the case; when I say “leadership” I mean personal leadership; how you show up in all areas of your life, whether that is at work, at home or alone on your couch.
Lately I am pondering, and writing, about the basic skills that create deeper connection. I like getting into the nitty gritty of what creates connection, and I also love making it simple, to the point where anyone can practise these basic skills whenever they want to.
One of the most simple – and profound – of these skills, is slowing down.
I was reaching out to people about our upcoming Art of Connection – Amsterdam Circling Weekend and I found myself sharing how these weekends are an excellent opportunity to practise your relational skills for dating and intimate relationships.
That might seem obvious, yet I would love to elaborate a bit on the why of this being a good idea.
I was interviewed for this amazing podcast a few weeks ago.
Jason Digges is one of the people that is deep into Authentic Relating and spreading it to the mainstream world with his company ART. So our missions are very aligned. And I loved talking to him!
We have all forgotten how to rest – properly.
A big reason for this is that we are online, all the time. We are constantly bombarded with information, and our brains and nervous systems never get a chance to really switch off. Which leads to higher levels of stress, burn-out and general unease and even disease.
So it is hugely beneficial to go offline for periods of time, not just for yourself, but for your business and job as well. Let alone for the quality of your connections.
It is summer! And I thought this was an excellent time to write a newsletter about the link between alcohol and (social) connection.
Alcohol has been social lubricant number one since forever, and with summer in full bloom (read: blasting heatwaves here in Amsterdam) I find myself in situations where I need some lubrication. And I am in full investigation into what this does to my levels of connection: feeling connected to myself, and others.
I realised recently that I do not often share my story of how I got into Circling: what pulled me to the practice, and what path I have walked in learning about, implementing and finally leading people in this relational journey, deeper home to themselves and their connection to others.
Well, as most of my journeys (used to) start: I started of with a shit ton of resistance.