I was interviewed for this amazing podcast a few weeks ago.
Jason Digges is one of the people that is deep into Authentic Relating and spreading it to the mainstream world with his company ART. So our missions are very aligned. And I loved talking to him!
We have all forgotten how to rest – properly.
A big reason for this is that we are online, all the time. We are constantly bombarded with information, and our brains and nervous systems never get a chance to really switch off. Which leads to higher levels of stress, burn-out and general unease and even disease.
So it is hugely beneficial to go offline for periods of time, not just for yourself, but for your business and job as well. Let alone for the quality of your connections.
It is summer! And I thought this was an excellent time to write a newsletter about the link between alcohol and (social) connection.
Alcohol has been social lubricant number one since forever, and with summer in full bloom (read: blasting heatwaves here in Amsterdam) I find myself in situations where I need some lubrication. And I am in full investigation into what this does to my levels of connection: feeling connected to myself, and others.
I realised recently that I do not often share my story of how I got into Circling: what pulled me to the practice, and what path I have walked in learning about, implementing and finally leading people in this relational journey, deeper home to themselves and their connection to others.
Well, as most of my journeys (used to) start: I started of with a shit ton of resistance.
One of the things I need to tell myself over and over again, is that I have permission to fuck up. And try again. And one of the things that are most impactful in the weekends and trainings I teach is hammering that same sentence in:
You have permission to fuck up.
A few weeks ago I facilitated the second weekend in the current Find Your Flavour – Circling Leadership Training.
As a leader, what came up for me in this process is the really clear realisation that I am fallible.
I cannot do everything, be everything, or have the capacity for whatever comes my way.
Asking for help. Of all the themes I work with clients on, this one is high on the list. It is a thing many people struggle with; a fear to reach out for support. They carry stories (“I am not good enough”, “I am not wanted”, “I am a nuisance”) that have them do everything by themselves. Every time I encounter this I feel sad. And tender. Because we human beings are not meant to go it alone.
So… how is your focus nowadays? If you have any at all in this time of constant input and distraction it is almost a miracle. Focus requires attention, choice, and eliminating what you do not want and what is less important to you.
Trigger. It is a word that is thrown around a lot in the circles I move in. And it is something I actively work with a lot, in myself and with clients.
What is a trigger? Being triggered simply means that something from the past is activated in the present.
Ever had this thought: “O I should not judge that person”?
In our current society it is often deemed not okay to judge somebody or something. It can be deeply rooted to not speak whatever we judge somebody for, because wejudge that “not to be okay” or “not done”. (the more spiritual version of that being “that is your stuff, deal with it”)
Yet over and over I have found with myself and clients that fully owning and speaking judgements can be one of the most liberating and alivening things you can do.