Upper Limit Problems

Have you ever heard of that phrase? I had not, until my best friend introduced it to me. And this week it feels like a very fitting subject to write about.

I have been struggling with my ‘upper limit problems’ the past while. Upper Limit Problems are basically your own internal thermometer for how much success, wealth, happiness, love and intimacy you will let yourself experience.

This term was first coined by Gay Hendrick in his book The Big Leap and I love the concept of it, and have been living it intimately recently.

Upper Limit Problems consist of limiting beliefs and convictions that keep you in a certain place, and when you grown beyond that place, they start creating tension. Basically you create you own glass ceiling and when you start pushing against it – because you are growing, because you put in all that work for things to go right, because you are getting what you want – it kicks in. Suddenly you are self-sabotaging, procrastinating, or creating problems where there aren’t any.

And you do that because a part of you does not believe that you are worthy of this, or cannot trust this.

So what happens is: you start working against yourself to ‘normalise’ the situation (read: creating circumstances that fit your limiting beliefs better).

The core belief I have been looking at recently is: “It is not going to work.”

My relationship is going really well; I have a great man by my side and I am moving in with him. My business is really kicking off and finally things are starting to move effortlessly and I am super lit up about doing the work and seeing the results.

Yet with all that goodness I gradually started hitting my glass ceiling. And the belief “it is not going to work” started to kick in. I witnessed myself resisting my new reality. I realised I was subtly pushing my man away and I sort of expected my business to not really work after all.

It was uncomfortable to notice this resistance. But then I remembered Upper Limit Problems. And I realised that my reality and my belief were clashing and that was what resulted in my internal mayhem.

So I looked at the belief. And I am practising slowly but steadily allowing myself to take in a bit more of this goodness. Every day I soften my body when I am noticing I am resisting. And I let it in a bit more – this new beautiful reality. I imagine my glass ceiling slowly dissolving and more space for me – in all directions – being created.

It is fun! And exciting! But I needed to find, sit with and honour that belief first. And to allow it to dissolve at it’s own time. It is sort of like my belief needs to trust I am safe in this new world before it can truly let go.

So know: when you grow, you will encounter your Upper Limit Problems. It is a chance to align your inner reality with your outer reality in a gentle way. Slowly letting them come together, so you can create a bigger container for yourself. Until you start growing even further and you will find the next limiting belief.. and then it starts all over again 😉

Love,
Anke

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Coach, trainer & lover of all things human and relational. Supporting you in finding a deeper connection to yourself & others, so you can truly lead, wherever you are.

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