The magic of having a good laugh

So…. this week I had no idea what to talk about. I checked in with some friends about a topic and nothing really ‘popped’. And then I sat down and wrote this title.

No idea where it came from,  but now, feeling into it, it feels quite fitting.

The magic of having a good laugh.

The last few weeks have been quite intense for me – both physically, having a wisdom tooth extracted and living with a lot of pain – and emotionally, going though the ringer with my new boyfriend and really hitting some deep pains and obstacles, that all wanted to be felt. Great stuff, especially when I am starting to have perspective and can look back a bit, but no fun when you are in it.

I could have used a laugh. And I realised I have not laughed a lot, or nearly enough. So I am writing this as much for myself as I am writing it for you.

We all know how healing a good laugh can be, what a release it can offer. And yet I often (pretty much always) forget when I am in not such a funny place. When I am not lit up, or in pain, or sad, or down. There is nothing wrong with these places and I am certainly not advocating bypassing them, but sometimes a good laugh is a great way to move the energy that is stuck.

I am reminded of my dad who, when I was little, would make highly inappropriate jokes when I was mad at him or stubborn. And I had to laugh despite myself (when I really did not want to!) because they were so incredibly stupid, yet hilarious. And it got me out of my funk every single time.

Or that time my ex ended up in a German hospital after a really bad fall and I was so worried and had sat by his bedside in intermediate care the whole night. My Kungfu teacher (we were all there for something Kungfu related) came in in the morning, saw my face, and saw that my ex was hooked up to a heart monitor. He then proceeded to shamelessly (and totally inappropriately) stroking my ex’s lower leg (they are good friends) and reported: “I know you like it, ’cause your heart rate just went up”. I cracked up, and open, in a massive laughing fit, that got my blood going and got my out of my dissociation and freeze. It probably ended in tears. To this day I am still grateful to him for that, and I never forgot about it.

In Shaolin Kungfu, smiling from the heart is a Shaolin secret (that I just spilled), meaning that it is a powerful skill that can be trained and practised. And it is powerful: it opens the heart, moves energy and emotion and widens your capacity. Try it when you feel down or stuck: smile with all your heart. Do not worry about how or what, just smile. Full out. And see how you feel afterwards.

I am the person that tends to make slightly inappropriate jokes in slightly tender situations when I see the energy is stuck, usually followed by a “too soon”? (must be my dad’s genes). In my experience it is actually never too soon, and the humour is appreciated. It also often helps (me) to laugh at the absurdity of life.

It also helps me to laugh about myself. Because I do tend to take myself a tad too seriously.

So have a laugh. Do not take yourself too seriously. The pain is real, and yet it can be so exquisite to laugh about it, and yourself. Open your heart and be silly. Let the magic flow.


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Coach, trainer & lover of all things human and relational. Supporting you in finding a deeper connection to yourself & others, so you can truly lead, wherever you are.

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