A tip on how to find your unique flavour

There is this thing I have been working with myself and it is one of the core things I work with in my coaching: finding your unique flavour.

What makes you uniquely you, and how can you let that you-ness shine out even further to impact the world and those around you? And most of all: how can you makes peace with your you-ness that has you embrace all the quirks, the weird, the amazing and the boring? It has been and always will be an ongoing process for me, but finding that seed, that nugget of what makes you uniquely you can bring a lot of peace. And acceptance. And power. And leadership.

And in my humble opinion we need more people showing up as they fully are, as there is simply no one else like you.

So how do you do that? Finding that uniqueness?

Interestingly, I have found that it is not easy to find. For you. To others it is blatantly obvious. But somehow we human creatures tend to prefer to look at what is wrong, what is hard and a struggle and way less at what is right, works like a breeze and comes out effortlessly.

And that is because the thing you do well is kind of invisible to you.

It does not leave ripples on your path, it is not an uphill struggle, it simply goes. Like a smooth bike ride with the wind in your back and the sun on your face. You do not stop to think “wow my bike is running so smoothly, the sun is shining so effortlessly, and that wind is positioned so well”. You will probably notice that stone you bumped over or that branch that swayed in your face.

See what I mean? It is sort of invisible. Yet not completely.

I found a great trick through Decker Cunov, one of my teachers, in one of his trainings. He loves supporting people in finding their spark and he is really good at seeing and celebrating uniqueness. Thanks Decker.

One of the things he says is: what is it you always loved doing ever since you were a child? What have you always done and never stopped doing? Be it connecting to people and really seeing and supporting their beauty (in my case), being stubborn, hard-headed and determined yet getting what I want through being cheeky and bold (also in my case, and I know I am painting a beautiful picture of myself, but that is kind of the point). Or being quiet in the corner yet seeing a lot (in the case of a friend). Or being brash, bold and not subtile and evoking a lot of positive change (in case of one of my teachers). And so on.

I did not get there overnight. It was extremely hard for me to see clearly. So I asked my friends, and my mother, and slowly a picture started to form. It was hard to take in at first, like those negative stories were really stubborn (like me). Yet I realised more and more: who am I to hold back my light, and power, and amazingly quirky me-ness from the world?

People will love me for it or not, but at least (and it is a glorious at least) I will love myself. And that is awesome. And my tribe definitely loves me for it, I do know that (because they tell me).

I needed to step out of my own way and start believing my goodness and owning my uniqueness.

It is a process of unravelling. Of learning to see more clearly. To take the sand out of the soup and taste my own yumminess. And share it with the world.

And that is why I love supporting people in that same unravelling. Because I know what it is like, I am really good at it and I light up when I see people light up more and more and own who they truly are.

My upcoming training Find your Flavour – Circling Facilitation Training is all about this: using the practice of facilitating Circles to get closer to your unique flavour. I made a video sharing why this is so important and sharing some of my own struggles and tools I have picked up on my path. And I am detailing what you can expect from this training. You can watch it here.

And if you want to start practising (I hope you do!): start with asking a few trusted friends. Let them mirror back to you what they see in you. And prepare to be pleasantly surprised..

And let me know how it goes 😉

Love,
Anke

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Coach, trainer & lover of all things human and relational. Supporting you in finding a deeper connection to yourself & others, so you can truly lead, wherever you are.

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